Perspectives

Why spend Christmas at home with family in the rain and snow, when you can go half-a-world away and do the same. Except here, the rain and snow is European rain and snow; and due to the long history (and better diary) of these places – a cultured rain and snow.

That logic began our holiday trip to Germany, Austria, Italy, France and Switzerland – with crossovers in the Netherlands, Liechtenstein, and likely a few other principalities and city-states. 

Autobots

We landed in Stuttgart Germany and were met by Claudia’s Brother, Mother, and Nephew at the airport. Claudia’s brother married a German woman (you have to be clear on gender these days) and moved from Santiago to a town called Gieslingen. Located between Stuttgart and Munich, near Ulm (Einstein’s hometown), Gieslingen is situated in a 200km supply chain belt of auto manufacturing. Mercedes, BMW, VW and all their sub-brands and OEM suppliers’ design, manufacture (and import), and assemble all the cars they are known for. Autobahn 4EVR.

Christmastown

There is no better place to spend Christmas than in the land of Christmas. Octoberfest just seems to roll into Christmas in Germany. Essentially every city has an outdoor beer-garden Christmas market that push the Deutsch Christmas Trinity of Gluwein, Sausages, and Chocolate – along with Schnapps, Beer, and wooden toys, ornaments and decorations. And if a Christmas Market is not enough, you can visit an entire city of Christmas (with the most un-Christmas sounding name) called Rothenberg. Rothenberg is a medieval walled city resembling what I had once imagined the North Pole to be (until I actually went to the artic, and it did not resemble where Elf came from). Anyway, what a great place! The city was full of happy drunks eating, decorating Christmas trees and making chocolates, coo-coo-clocks and wooden toys. It made a wonderful day.

Hitler Must Be Rolling In His Grave

Another impressive aspect to Germany is the welcoming multicultural society it has become. There are still many Germans, but also many other European and Foreign immigrants. The country looks more like Canada (except with fewer pick-ups and more transgendered looking people), than the Germany of stereotypes and my own recollection from past visits. The prosperity of the region and the cultural policy to teach newcomers in how to become German (mainly courses in language and I imagine logic and efficiency) has provided both a respect for the tradition and a springboard to a diverse future where Germany will continue to be the capital of Europe as New York or the USA serves arguably the same function for the Americas.

Despite Germany’s new ‘heart’ for diversity, they still love white things – but instead of people; it is polar bears, albino lions and tigers, dogs and like other places in the world – sheep.

As I update this (October 2015), There will be challenges, but personally I think Germany can succeed in welcoming the 100 000 or so Syrian and Middle Eastern refuges. Germany teaches people how to be German. These people will be educated, they will be employed and Germany has just set-up a hardworking (and for the next generation), educated low-wage workforce that will continue their success and that of those they take-in…providing Volkswagen does not disappear due to Dieselgate.    

Like Clockwork

From all the cultural (ok – the Hoffbrahaus) and the automotive culture sites we visited, the single paramount theme for me about this (West German, Bavaria-Tyrol, East Switzerland) part of the world is the testament to engineering and science. One notices the evolution from clocks, to automatic watches, to optical glass, to the engine, and quantum mechanics. All have originated in this Bavarian Realm. It probably dates back to 500 years of laws and codes – and 1516 Reinheitgebot being a shinning example. Once again we can thank Beer.

Motoring to Milan

After a Christmas Eve/ Day of attempting to understand both German and Spanish simultaneously (drinking in my lederhosen costume did help), I rented an entry-level car that turned out to be a new Audi A3 and we began the snowy drive to Lake Como and Milan via Austria, Liechtenstein, and Switzerland. The drive was uneventful, but scenic with an impressive climb that then drops into the Ticino region and Italy. Harboring ourselves in Lake Como (which is a very sleepy place in winter, compared to summer) for the evening, we wandered the Italian Christmas markets. These markets were not dissimilar to the German ones, but they did have better food and a defining flair.

La Dolce Vita    

Milan, being the heart of Italy’s industrial and textile base is a very affluent and cosmopolitan city where akin to other affluent land-locked cities seems to offer the attractions of good art and good shopping. West Edmonton Mall or the Mall of Americas may wrestle on being the largest, but Milan’s Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II takes the prize as the planet’s most luxurious. One can be a religious fashionista/o and visit the first Prada, Gucci, Armani, etc. stores while in the shadow of another great shopping mall, the Duomo Milano Cathedral – which took nearly 600 years to complete. We spent 3 pizza, prosecco, and risotto filled days with my cousin Bruno and his girlfriend Moiraee. Personally, the highlight of Milan was not the Da Vinci exhibits, but the greatest supermarket in the world called Eatly. When I return to Milan or any city with an Eatly, I will dedicate a day to this wonderful place.

In between food and drink, we ventured to the Da Vinci exhibits and people watched the fashion show of churchgoers to the nearby chapel on a Sunday morning. The fashion show also included Gucci-clad and leather-jacketed canines. We did not get to see the Last Supper Gallery, as tickets have to be purchased weeks in advance – but we did try to bribe our way in with surprisingly no success. I hate to give into stereotypes, but in Europe they tend to hold true – except in Milan where an Italian did not take a bribe. Transparency is becoming international.

Incidentally, I returned to Milan weeks later as the face of Cisco. Hopefully it got to go to Eatly too.

Swiss Hospitality

After Italy, we had to return to Germany, but not without a stop or two. The snow being lackluster, a day of skiing in Splugen was traded for a day of spa and sightseeing in the mountain village of Andeer, Switzerland. Andeer, is the region east of Ticino (the Swiss Italians), and the people are less Italian or Romansh and a more-concentrated offshoot of the Swiss German. This particular Swiss-German is probably the quirkiest of people on the planet. They are a best described as a rural inbred hipster who holds the obedience of strange rules – both legal and social as the highest pinnacle of their life. This Asperger’s-lot do not welcome or smile, cannot problem solve without repeating the process (you may be asked to buy another ticket to retrieve a dropped sock in a the change room of an empty hot spring), and more than happily overcharge and take your money – again with no smile as if their mother was raped in their conception. They do have good cheese, chocolate, hot springs, scenery, high-altitude ranching, and healthy government agricultural subsidies for the region – so perhaps we are all as strange as we can afford to be.

Get in Line

One day before leaving, Claudia’s 4 year-old nephew Matthias freaked out with me for putting a toy elephant in the driver’s seat of his fire truck (remember German’s are a people of logic versus abstractions). He then told me he wished he had a real gun to shoot me. I was not too shocked, as I have heard similar from other people many years older, and days earlier he relayed to his parents that they are ‘no longer safe’.

Ratatouille or Paris Je t’aime

After a wonderful and schnapps filled new years spent in some hilltop gasthaus near Geislingen, we hugged and thanked our hosts and boarded the train to Paris to join Claudia’s cousin Paola. Everyone has there own view of Paris (and now there is Paris Syndrome where one’s first visit to Paris does not live up to expectations), so I do not have to tell more than it was a rain-filled joy of museums (d’orsay is always my favorite), Eiffel tower visits, crowds and shops. In Paris, Brasserie essentially means dive bar with food and we went to our share. One such restaurant had rats running across the floor (we did not stay past our escargot appetizer) and another that turned into a gay disco before our meals were complete. I do not recommend using the men’s washroom.

Strangers on a Train

Train travel is such a civilized way that we just cannot take advantage of in Western Canada. When you ride in 1^st or 2^nd class you tend to meet the most interesting people, especially in France where everyone seems to be a public intellectual. Probably the bi-product of the French culture being literate cultured and ideologically open (providing your ideology does not involve extreme Islam – see below). France still has an abundance of bookstores, newsstands, and cinemas… causalities of the times elsewhere.

Je Suis Charlie

Thankfully we departed Paris before the Charlie Hebdo attack, but we were in France to see the heightened security and the country come together for this sad tragedy. Out of France’s misfortune, we were fortunate to attend the vigil in Chamonix with hundreds of others in the square. The events of Hebdo are an attack not just on France, but our modern democracy (one thing to thank France for). France may have it’s own issues with assimilation and immigration of its former colonies – but then again if you think you can just go out and kill people, please start with yourself.

Anyway, after passively experiencing this shock, my simple conclusion is for humanity to survive, God must die. Whether His/ Her/ or likely It’s name is Zeus, Yahweh, Apple, Allah, Buddha, Mother Nature, Steve, Shiva, Jesus, Brahma, Jennifer, Kale, Vitamix, etc.; we ironically must adhere to the 10 commandments directive of ‘thou shall not worship false idols’ – because they are all false idols – including God.

Chamonix

Chamonix is a world into itself: A tres-chic tourist mountain town for the rich, famous, Eurotrash, drunk & British and drunk & Russian – as well as the mecca for extreme sportsmen. Containing Mt Blanc, Europe’s highest peak as well as a myriad of gondola trams to easily access such peaks, the region is very accessible for visitors of all caliber.

Arriving at night, my first daylight views of Chamonix was a scene of several paragliders and 2 base jumpers dancing down the mountain-scape in the early morning sunlight. I have always wanted to ski in the French Alps (as there are no rules), and I do wish I had visited at 18, when I was younger and dumber. Then again, had I visited Chamonix when I was 18, I most likely would have not been around to visit it in my mid-thirties’. I may not have base-jumped this go, but I did do some tram-assisted backcountry skiing and at this life-stage was now able to afford guides and better restaurants than my 18 year-old shadow. And these meals were amongst the best in France. French country food, the type of dishes Le Creuset cookware is built to produce cuisine as rich in calories as France is in culture, Paris in ideas and of course idiosyncrasies.

More Cheese, More Chocolate

Exhausted yet? We were, but after Chamonix we had one more stop in Lausanne Switzerland. Visiting my uncle and aunt, we spent our remaining holiday in the French-Swiss area around Geneva drinking Evian (or the Nestle Water equivalent on the Swiss side of the lake) from the tap, eating Gruyere in Gruyere while visiting the Savoy castle Gruyere and interestingly enough the HR Giger (think Alien Movie) Museum located within. We of course consumed more chocolate and walked lakeside to Montreux. This area is amongst the most charming and livable in the world – no wonder it is so international and diplomatic.

Savoir Faire.